(Said to readers by a man in a serious-monotone voice) "The following blog is rated BAD for graphic and personal images painted in your mind. If you read, you are not to judge or ask questions and may never look at the author and think of said images. Also, she is confused on if this is a book or a fake TV show blog. Be advised!"
(Said by Kyle and I in unison...) Previously on "I'll never tell..."
Chapter 1
Kyle and I ventured home for pre-deployment leave. It was so awesome to be home! Seeing everyone and eating suburban food... it could have been longer. Let me tell you! A little stress but that comes with my family and passes just as fast as it comes. Thanks family for making it fun! I would say my favorite parts were:
- The BBQ (Thanks Mom and Margaret for a great time)
- Family photos
- Seeing all family
- Being with my husband in our element; eating chipotle; laughing; and smelling the smells of grass, rain, and home.
Chapter 2
We moved! We now live on-base in a cozy two bedroom/two story town house. My neighbors hate me (long story... ask Kyle) and there is no yard for Diesel. The ups out weigh the bad, though.
- SECURITY
- We have a dryer hook up! Not just a washer hookup- no more hanging clothes
- Close to work
- Close to on- base things like the commissary, home store, exchange...
- I am comfortable walking Diesel here. He can play on the grass by our house or at the dog park.
We definitely made the right decision. Thank you to Kyle and Jake for moving all our stuff despite how unprepared we were for the move. :)
Chapter 3
We got a new washer. Just as we moved in, we found the old washer wasn't working. After the housing maintenance people came, they told us it was our washer that wasn't sending signals to let the cold water in and there was a dial glitch that made it stop in the middle of a cycle. So, on 29 palms yard sales dot com we found a 4-month-old-barely-used washer for cheap! Kyle and a few buddies picked it up and hooked it up right before they left.
Chapter 4
Kyle left for his deployment. I took cool pictures and I did awesome until the last hug goodbye. Then I almost fell apart for about 2 minutes. I dried my tears and waited for the buses to drive off. Man, I absolutely should have mentally prepared a bit more. It kinda hit me hard.
It may be sad and dramatic but the best line from Michael Buble's Home fits my moment: "It's like I just stepped outside, when everything is going right. And I know just why you could not come along with me, but this was not your dream but you've always believed in me..."
It's OK. Marine wives are strong women. We believe in our men and we will wait for them to come home. Until then, we hang up their boots and keep busy. Hence my new found goals and determination to accomplish:
- Run with the puppy 6 days a week
- Ride the bike 7 days a week for MIN. of 30 minutes.
- Eat right. No more candy, ice cream, fast food, and less soda
- Plan a honeymoon for when Kyle comes back.
- Master some songs on the guitar. I almost have Colbie Callait's Bubbly down. I struggle on the bridge.
- Find a new job that makes me happy. I have a few applications in so lets hope for the best.
About my job... if these jobs don't come through, pray The Man and his sidekick brat don't drive me into depression and insanity!! I mean it, I am pretty close. Mike Posner's Cooler Than Me is in cue behind a curtain of F you confetti, balloons with F you written on them and a massive banner saying F you. I sit at my desk clenching to the rope that will lift the curtain/hit play/and send confetti and balloons everywhere displaying the banner as if they just won "America's Funniest Home Videos" (Sigh) They actually might because I will have Richelle standing there with a video camera... I will think it is funny. :)
Chapter 5
Our fridge broke and it took housing FOUR days to get us a new one. But we got a brand new one- minor glitch, it has one missing a shelf! (Audience laughs). All our freezer items went bad, milk was chunky and I had to throw out so much we almost had nothing... I was lucky to save the food mom and dad bought while here.
(Same man in serious monotone says) "Reader discretion is advised"
Chapter 6
The worst thing of all to blog about-
Kyle and I have been praying since... oh... January to get pregnant. (Sorry Mom). We wanted some kind of bundle of joy so bad and we thought that getting pregnant June/July would be perfect timing. Kyle can come home in time to feel the baby kick and see it become our third musketeer!!
Well during the three days we had to pack up the house, I suddenly feel pain that makes me immobile in my abdomen. I crawl into the bedroom and wake Kyle from his slumber... we go to the ER to be told I am pregnant and I am fine. Fear, joy and excitement overwhelm us. We are absolutely pleased. God answered our prayers!
Then, a week later I kiss my husband goodbye at about 12:00 am and head to the ER to ease our worries about abnormal bleeding. I was supposedly fine but they will watch me close. I am red stamped "Threatened Abortion!" Who calls it that #1! #2, I don't like that. I am all for pro choice but not for my body and not for this baby! We don't do abortions nor do we red stamp it on any records!
Two days later, I make another trip to the ER for more paralyzing pain (THANK GOD FOR KATRINA AND AMY'S HELP) and I am sent home with kidney stones, morning sickness and ligament stretching. "A little rest and you will be OK... just let it pass," says the Doc.
For days I carry a nasty strainer to the bathroom and hope something makes a plop into it sounding like a marble into a jar. Nothing ever plopped!
My mom and dad thankfully and graciously come to the heated sandbox to be with me. Without them, I would have just lost it and fallen apart and just cried! Let me tell you! We all walked around like pins and needles going to appointments and endless blood draws (I still have bruises!) all for a final ER trip. All of this to find Kyle and I prayed for a miracle and it only lasted 2 months...
- I take each minute as it comes. I cry at "Could I pregnant?" commercials
- Change the channel at MTV's Teen Mom because ungrateful little teenage bitches with babies now make me sick
- I turn down offers to hang out with a couple of girls because one is pregnant with her second and the other just had a baby
- I am breaking out worse than in high school (no exaggeration)
I am a fragile emotional ghostly of a person. I wander the house hoping it will all be a dream... Each minute is a roller coaster of being OK to not. I fight hard to make the "not" moments get shorter. I really think that I will be alright- just don't ask if I am or else I will just fall apart for that moment, OK?
Chapter 7
The last few days have been productive. I have gotten the oil changed in the truck; picked up Diesel's immunization records to register him on base; vacuumed/dusted/swept/cleaned toilets and such in the house; washed clothes and sheets and went grocery shopping to replenish the cabinets and fridge. Diesel has gotten regular walks again. I have sent off mail to Kyle and watched a ton of movies as my body is confused on when to sleep and when it is day time.
This too shall pass... I promise myself. I promise Kyle.
(And the scene fades away playing the chorus to Eminem's Not Afraid because it is sorta inspiring followed by Enrique Iglesias' I Like It because I like it.)
