Mommy of three

It has been an emotional 2015 thus far. Shortly before Christmas, we were expecting baby #2. Ansley was so excited to be a big sister. She fully took on the role by talking about being the "big girl" doing big girl things to help. Ansley was the one to share the news with the family. With Kyle's family, Ansley leans over the table at dinner and exclaimed, "Mommy has a baby in her belly like Mimi!" To the rest of the family, we texted a picture and her sign says: "Pink or Blue, either will do! Mommy's expecting Number 2!September 2015."

We were able to travel and see Granny and Papa and meander through life anxiously awaiting the first doctor appointment. On January 26th, the three of us piled into the car excited that we would hear a heartbeat. Ansley wanted to hear her own heartbeat, too! We all sat uncomfortably through the questions and exam and when the ultrasound machine was wheeled in, we perked up.

Sadly, we heard no heartbeat and saw no baby. It was a confusing outcome as I had been sick as a dog trying to work keeping what saltines I could down. We were told this looks like a miscarriage but we need a follow-up appointment with a different provider to confirm.

I had blood work done that day and then went back for more blood work two days later. Both blood test results confirm a pregnancy but my HCG levels started to decline. I had another appointment on February 2nd that confirmed what we already knew. We were about to lose another baby. I was officially diagnosed with a blighted ovum.We had taken the time since the first appointment to already try to process things and begin to heal our wounds.

To spare the small group of readers the details, I had elected to terminate the pregnancy as naturally as possible. I waiting for almost two weeks for my body to do what it could and then took some pills for the rest to pass. At my latest follow-up appointment on February 10th, it was validated that nature has taken its course and I miscarried 10 weeks into the pregnancy. I still have some physical speed bumps but nothing that warrants medical procedures or more follow-ups. (Phew!).

Emotionally, I have been a parent to three children. Even though we have elected not to name any but Ansley, we have been through the ringer with pregnancies. Two miscarriages and a traumatic pregnancy. We are forever grateful for our life and the plan God has for us. We have accepted the "bad" as the good comes so frequently. Our lives have forever changed because of the things we have conquered together. We are a stronger family, have a stronger marriage, and are stronger people. As we mend our broken hearts, we continue to enjoy every moment we have. We are trying to take advantage of the little things in life and count our blessings.

I am thankful for a beautiful and healthy family. I am fortunate to have a supportive family that is so loving and helpful. I love my job and the friends I have made at work have made my life richer.  Life is great and even though we experience loss, we have so much to live for.

Until next time.